Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I looked at my own cervix.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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