so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
