I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
