Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
