I love black thongs
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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