I just threw up on my dentist
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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