So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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