You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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