11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
