I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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