This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
