The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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