Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
