The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When are your genitals available?
I believe in your delicious
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
