Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
