I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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