Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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