You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
