Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I smell stomach acid.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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