I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
