More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
