went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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