TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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