You can't special order awesome
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
