Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
