The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
