When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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