I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Text me some of your sweat
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
