I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
