I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
