Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
