I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
