Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
