Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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