He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
