I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
