Pappa wants mamma naked
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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