If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
