Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry LamestOfTheLames hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(407): View more from Florida

wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

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(716): View more from New York

God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

No thats like a top 10

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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(314): View more from Missouri

Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

(906): View more from Michigan

Omg sara

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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(678): View more from Georgia

Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.

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