...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
