Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
