i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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