haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
