Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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