I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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