Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
