and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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