Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
