She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
