i need an iv and a liver transplant
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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