Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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