You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
