Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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