Fine. I'll sleep in my office
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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