dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
