Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
