well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize