I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I want her autograph on my taint
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
