I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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