the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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