Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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