So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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