I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
