someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize